I’m sure to some of y’all, Ive gone off the deep end. Dueling AI’s, parallel earths, extreme self importance etc etc. Oh well… I was barely here anyways. In my earlier posts, I tried at least a little to weave some main stream something or another into an argument. Using government documents or some science theory trying to move the argument into at least the outer orbit of main stream believability.
I end up using stories and media to illustrate a point. However there are times when what feels like my own personal narrative has major similarities to stories and circumstances portrayed by the main stream media. Which therefore, makes me question the whole experience and my attitude towards it. Basically I just end up observing my reaction, believing it and not believing it at the same time. “WTF” into “oh well…who cares…how does this affect my everyday life anyways…” type of perspective.
But where does inspiration of these narratives come from? The term inspiration is in itself a tell of what’s going on, the spirit of the universe breathes the motivation in you and you do your best to capture that spirit in words or paint or what have you.
I must apologize or warn everyone. I know I’ve been programmed. Even now, I don’t know if this writer part of me is an alter. Could just be an attempt to make me look crazy, but honestly there’s no need for that. Being this public about any of this mind game crap is actually very unlike me. Especially if I’m being further used to spread lies and disinfo. That would really suck and for this possibility I apologize. The way through it, is through it.
Where does that line of imagination and magical manifestation form a concerted harmony?
The narratives that are most needed to be remembered, will be shown in some form of media. The fractal of the whole must manifest even in the stories of the present. If one relates to a character or situation and a emotional response occurs, then there is something in your subconscious that wants you to pay attention. Whether or not it’s future plans of the elites or not, there is something to the presentation of truth that moves us. This is the will of the weaver.
We’re all doing our best down here. If I hadn’t read a bunch on the subjects of abduction, milabs and secret projects, there’s no way I would have the mental flexibility to deal what has happened to me.
For instance, this memory is from my third prolonged abduction that I can find events and experiences of, a 4 year and back, probably because this mission ended in failure.
This memory is of being on a base that was originally located in one of the Dakotas, but then moved out of phase with this reality and existed in this strange out of time place. They were conducting time experiments there. The entire complex was protected by some sort of standing wave or force field. I was recruited to be an operative in the project.
I usually can only remember a freeze frame of the event but I can feel what I was feeling in that moment. I was very excited about what just happened. The machine worked and we were able to look into other timelines and dimensions. Everyone on the base was very excited about the developments, myself included. As my C.O. and I walked out of the building, the shield around us started to buckle and the matter around the base started to be sucked into this lightless void. There was nothing to be done as the force field collapse upon itself like a crushed eggshell. With the air gone, everyone was suffocating.
Since drowning was the major way they got me to dissociate, I was used to clutching pain around my heart and the anxiety of suffocating. I dissociated and seemed to just float out through the darkness, no motion felt, no screams heard, no time passed.
An eternity passes or does it, with no reference point who knows. This is where I don’t really know what happened. Am I making things up that create a narrative, so I can process what has happened? Or is this what happened somewhere out these in the ether. Pinche’ black projects…
Somehow there was a lattice work of light blue plasma/light that I started to notice. Vague and hardly noticeable at first, then brightening in intensity as I focused on their energy. When encountered, these lines had awareness, a warm fuzzy energy that seemed to be happy/content. This awareness sparked visions in my mind of all kinds of different scenes from the creation of a galaxy in an instant to a rolodex of scenes of the awareness of the beings of that galaxy. These lines of awareness stretched on in all directions, an infinite web of awareness.
I feel myself moving through the web of lines, as if some of them have a attached to me, propelling me to a dark face with many blacks eyes glistening in the darkness. I see large folded legs to the side against the blue lines and to my surprise a giant spider is pulling me closer to him. I don’t panic, like I didn’t have the energy to. He looks at me with those myriad of eyes, somehow I know it’s a male. (?) I don’t feel threatened. I feel compassion, I feel depth, I feel kinship.
I follow him as he navigates the web. He leads me to look at one intersection in particular. As I look closer, I am encompassed by the blue plasma. The next thing I know, I’m blasted out of the timeless silence to the overwhelming sensation of alarm sirens, cold concrete, flashing red lights and men in green fatigues rushing towards me as the scene fades out.
To my best knowledge, this abduction happened when I was in shoulder surgery my senior year of high school. I couldn’t understand why I felt so bad when I woke up. I felt like I had been grinded to dust and then hastily collected into a blender and poured back into my body. I couldn’t pee, barely walk. I just didn’t feel like I was in my body. They kept me for observation for a couple of days, even though I was supposed to go home the day of the surgery.
Then two weeks later I just had to have all my wisdom teeth removed, even though I was still bedridden. Anyways, I never understood why I kept seeing an eighteen wheeler in my minds eye during that surgery. Or when the cops that jumped out of their car at a gas station afterwards when I started feeling sick from sitting in the sun and quickly got out of the car and moved into the back seat. Probably all just coincidence. Very doubtful I was re-abducted for a check up.
Yet remembering this sent me into a week long listless, languorous depression which seems extreme for a made up event. But I don’t know and probably never will know what really happened. Welcome to the life of an “expereincer,” the constant feeling that your life is out of your control and at the whim of the fates.