MilAb’s and Breaking through the Programming

This a description of some of my “missions”  involuntarily working for the inter dimensional beings.  At the time,  I considered these experiences to be dreams even though they were strikingly real in detail and scope.  Actually I hoped they were dreams.  I was what you would call a “bad person.”

The “dreams” were filled with scenes that could be described from almost a first-person shooter video game.  I was this non-thinking, very fast, very efficient soldier.  Most of my missions involved taking out installations, assassinations or repelling an invasion force.  I would always be killed it seemed or if I did succeed in fulfilling my mission I would just explode in a ball of white light.  During the day in freshman-sophmore years in high school, when the dreams first began, I would remember these dreams kind of fondly as I was a force to be reckoned with.  Finally I could lose myself in the moment and let that all that anger and madness of being abducted throughout my childhood flow through my body almost like plasma, making more than human.  There was a certain purity in my movements like I was a part of the environment around me.  I had found some peace being in that “zone” but it was as a remorseless killing machine.

The setting would change all the time.  Although sometimes, it seemed I was in the future.  There was a certain darkness that pervaded this world.  I hated this place.  It was dead place, yet it also pushed me to remember my core personality during these missions.  This manifested as the first time I heard my own inner voice in any of the psychic asset-super soldier dreams.

Having completed my primary mission of destroying an airfield and surrounding hangers,  I was running and shooting between military style barracks.  I could feel bullets whizz by and feel the impact of the wall, dislodging some of the building into my back as I quickly rounded a corner.  I pause a moment to collect myself.   Some soldiers get the angle on me, so I make a break for the next set of barracks across a field in between the buildings.  I engage the “enemies.”  However I run out of ammo half-way through the crossing. I drop my weapon and just stand there waiting to be killed as the soldiers surrounded me.

A jeep pulls up with a large fellow with what looked like a cyborg with metal machinery covering half of his body to go with his mechanical arm and a camera like device covering his left eye and side of his head.  He gets out of his jeep stares at me.  He says he has to much honor to kill an unarmed man in a thick German accent and throws his gun on the ground.  This puzzles me.

Everything my superiors had told me was how inhuman the enemy was, to show no mercy because they are without honorand  to kill with no remorse.  He wants to fight like civilized men, so we square off unarmed.  I quickly dispatch the cyborg leaving him flat on his back with a surprized look on his face.

I pick up his gun and say “I don’t” then proceed to fire a burst of his rifle in his face.  After that the military dreams started to upset me.  My inability to feel emotions scared me to my core.  I was lost in bloodlust during these experiences and somewhat enjoying the power I felt from that state of mind.  This was a feeling I could not let seep into my waking life.

I’m not sure what happened, but soon after that, I was myself there as in I could hear my own inner voice.   I would “wake” mid-mission, stop what I was doing and start attacking my superior’s bases and installations.  I would be so ashamed of what I done as most of the people in that world had no more free will than a doll.  I joined up because we were supposed to save the world from the oppression.  Instead the very machinery we were going to use for enlightenment was used to suppress freedom and creativity.

Part of me thinks this could have been some sort of high tech dream training as there was a 2-d qualtiy to some of the dream players.  Or it’s some real life Ender’s Game type scenario used by some inter dimensional beings to do god knows what.